Praiseworthy

“Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.”
--Ronald Reagan

Last night I had the opportunity to help several kids go horse-riding at my parents house. Just before we were getting ready to saddle up, my father turned to me and asked me if I might help him with a particular horse. He said something to the effect of, “You seem to have a way with her and I don’t have to worry about whether or not you can handle her.”

I can’t remember the exact wording he used (oh a faulty mind!) but I remember that it lit something up inside of me and I called out, “Thanks, Dad! That’s like, the best compliment you’ve given me in 3 years!”  My dad, clever fellow that he is, said, “It hasn’t been 3 years since I complimented you!” and turned with a smile to go out to the barn. Yes. I love my daddy.

It just felt so good to hear my father say that, to know that in some small way, I did something that made him proud.

So the night went on. We warmed up the horses, got them groomed and saddled, and spent the remainder of the evening helping kids of all ages embrace the beauty and inner-peace that riding a horse brings to a person.

*Side note, here* My dad often quotes this beautiful saying: “There’s something about the outside of a horse that’s good for the inside of a man.” –Sir Winston Churchill
Truer words were never spoken. (Which is also a quote, I’m sure.) I like to change it up a little and say, “The back of a horse is good for the heart of a man.” For me, it is. My heart is lighter, my mind softer, and my breath comes easier after I’ve ridden.

Back to the story: When helping the kiddos to ride, I tried to speak to them as they went ‘round and ‘round; little encouraging thoughts like, “You’re doing great!” or “Boy! You’re a good rider!” or other bits of praise. I find that it helps a kid to feel more relaxed, confident, and in control. This also helps the horse to feel more relaxed, as they are very in tune with a riders emotions.

My own little dudes had come with me to the activity and took their turns on the back of my father’s horses. I felt an enormous swell of pride seeing my children ride. What I had loved as a child, they were loving. Where I had found joy and comfort, they were finding it also. Many tears gathered in my eyes and my chest felt like a hot-air balloon was in there.

It started to get dark and time for the horses to rest. I helped my last charge off of a horse and prepared to lead her back to the barn when I saw one of my little dudes lingering by the round ring, head hung low.

I called out to him, asking what was wrong, thinking that he was disappointed the night was over. He was very quiet and didn’t answer me until I’d walked over, horse in tow, next to him where no one else could hear us. I asked again, “Honey, what’s wrong?”

In a tiny voice, he said, “No one told me I was great, mom.”

Ever seen a balloon pop? It was like that but then it felt like a mountain crashed down inside my heart. I searched my mind, easily able to recall shouting out encouragement and praise to other little kids—but when had I said it to my own son?

I knelt down, right there in the dirt, and took his little face in my hands. “You know what, sweetie? I think you’re great. I am so proud of you. You rode so well and you did such a great job telling that horse when to stop and when to go. You knew just what to do and mommy is so very, very proud of you. You are a great rider.”

In the fading light, I saw a sheen in his beautiful green eyes and he threw his arms around me. He hugged me with both little arms and wrapped both little legs around my waist.

And oh how I understood.

I, myself, had beamed when my father complimented me earlier. I had raced out to the barn to ready that horse because I wanted my father’s praise to be accurate. I worked as hard as I could to deserve what he’d given me because it felt so good to hear him say it. I hoped, in my heart of hearts, that my son felt that same way.

After that, I put my son back up in that saddle and he and I walked the horse around a few more times. This time, my son heard praise from many people; his grandparents, his auntie, and especially from his mother.

I know there are those out there who believe that you can over-praise a child. I know there are those who think that you shouldn’t praise them for something they didn’t do. (I don’t believe this to be the case here, at all!) I guess I just don’t feel the same. I know how it feels to be praised by my parents. I know how it felt to have my son’s joy wrapped literally around me. And considering all the things my children do and have done—it is little enough to tell them how wonderful I think they are.

And my sons have given me the best praise I’ll ever receive--

They made me their mother.